Finding Chi
When Your Body Knows Things Your Mind Can’t Explain
Reconnecting With Your Body’s Hidden Wisdom
If you’ve been feeling disconnected from your body lately—like there’s a wall between you and the wisdom you used to trust—I want to share something with you.
What if I told you that your capacity to sense, to feel, to perceive new realities hasn’t diminished with age? Rather, it’s just been buried under years of stress, cultural conditioning, and the relentless noise of modern life?
Let me take you back to a moment that changed everything I thought I knew about what’s possible.
The Gift of Not Belonging
It was 1994, and I was a bicycling dread-head with a desperate urge to grow my consciousness, heal my body, and figure out why the holy heavens I was here on earth. I hadn’t yet entered my twenties, but somehow I felt deep down as though I had already missed out on a lifetime.
Ridiculous, I know. But this feeling gnawed at my soul.
Looking back now, I can see that those feelings of unworthiness, of not quite belonging, of missing something essential—those were actually gifts. They created just the right balance of searching energy without breaking me completely. They drove me toward something more.
I was blessed to be part of a group of women in the mystical town of Tulsa, Oklahoma, all of us searching for a way to live more fully and make our mark on this earth. That collective energy of young women believing we could change the world? It was intoxicating and necessary.
Do not try to forget the past; it is impossible to forget the past without forgetting oneself at the same time.
—Moshe Feldenkrais, The Potent Self (pg xxxv)
Finding My Teacher
So I did what seekers do:
I read books on everything I could get my hands on. Feldenkrais, yoga, meditation.
I put what I read into practice daily. I was insatiable in my spiritual seeking.
I looked for teachers and guides in the flesh who could show me the way.
That’s when a friend introduced me to Lin, a short, intellectual man from China working on his PhD at Tulsa University and teaching Tai Chi on the side. We met under a large magnolia tree in Woodward Park. No guile, no frills—just straight instruction and silent practice.
Perfect. Someone to show me the form.
Week after week, we met under that tree. But then Lin invited me to his Qigong class, and everything shifted.
Learning to Trust Body Wisdom Through Qigong
I was very interested in Qigong, but I was also horrified by the idea of joining the class. I would be the only female, the youngest person, and the one with the least experience.
I felt small and unworthy, but I went anyway.
The class was different from our private sessions. It started with metaphysical discussions about the deeper reasons we practice. I listened to Lin like I was hearing a fairy tale—enchanted and in disbelief.
Then I heard him say, “…my mother only has one more life to live.”
Wait. What? There’s more than one life to live?
My world shook. I blurted out, “How do you know she only has one more life to live?”
Without hesitation, he said, “Because she can walk through walls.”
Mothers who walk through walls? My mind split wide open. My current reality was arguing, negotiating, whirling. I didn’t know what to believe.
Then we began to practice. A few minutes in, Lin looked directly at me and barked, “You are faking it! Just going through the motions. Find your chi!”
I nearly cried. All those feelings of being unworthy, of not belonging, came flooding back.
But Lin must have noticed, because he walked softly across the room and gently placed something in my hands, whispering, “Like this.”
I couldn’t see anything, but I could feel the weight, the size, the shape of what felt like a ball of energy in my palms.
It was real.
In that moment, something fundamental shifted. Not just in my mind, but in my body. The cultural programming that told me I wasn’t worthy of trusting what I felt, that I was too young, too inexperienced, too female—all of that got overridden by the undeniable experience of sensing something I’d never known existed.
What This Taught Me About Sensing New Realities
Here’s what I understand now that I didn’t then: There are layers to what we can perceive in this world.
Some things we’ll never sense because we lack the physical capacity—like the spectrum of colors a crawfish sees that we simply can’t access.
But then there are things we could perceive that we don’t, either because our culture never taught us they existed, or because years of stress, busy minds, and habitual patterns of moving and sensing have dampened our intuitive body awareness.
Think about what you could sense as a child that you’ve lost touch with. Maybe you could feel when someone was sad before they said anything. Maybe you knew which foods your body wanted without thinking about it. Maybe you could sense the “feeling” of a room the moment you walked in.
These weren’t magical abilities—they were natural capacities we all possess but learn to dismiss or ignore.
Our nervous systems are designed to be exquisitely sensitive. We can detect micro-expressions, energy shifts, the subtle changes in someone’s breathing pattern. We can sense whether a space feels safe or agitating. Our bodies know when we’re pushing too hard, when we need rest, when something isn’t quite right—often long before our minds catch up.
But here’s what happens:
Chronic stress narrows our perceptual field. When we’re constantly in survival mode, our awareness contracts to focus only on immediate threats. We lose access to the subtler layers of information our bodies are constantly receiving.
Cultural conditioning teaches us to override these signals. We’re told to push through fatigue, ignore hunger cues, dismiss that “funny feeling” about a person or situation. We learn to trust external authorities over our own inner knowing.
Habitual patterns of tension literally block sensation. When we chronically hold our breath, grip our shoulders, or clench our jaw, we’re cutting off the very pathways through which subtle information flows.
That day with Lin, I discovered I had the capacity to sense subtle energy I’d never known existed. It wasn’t that he gave me some special power—he helped me access what was already there, waiting beneath the noise of my doubting mind and my worth wounds.
The chi ball wasn’t separate from me—it was an extension of my own energy field that I’d simply never been taught to perceive. Lin didn’t create something new; he created the conditions for me to feel what was already present.
This is what I’ve learned about expanding our sensing capacity: It’s not about developing supernatural abilities. It’s about removing the barriers—the stress, the conditioning, the habitual patterns—that block our natural perceptual gifts. It’s about returning to the sensitivity we were born with.
Reclaiming Your Innate Sensing Abilities
I think about this story often when I work with midlife women who feel disconnected from their bodies. Women who’ve spent decades with cultural programming telling them to ignore subtle signals, push through discomfort, and not trust their instincts.
What if the disconnection you feel isn’t permanent? What if those very feelings of unworthiness, of missing something, are actually the gift that’s driving you to search for something more?
And what if there are whole worlds of sensation and body wisdom available to you right now—wisdom about how to move, how to nourish yourself, how to trust your instincts—that you simply need the right conditions to access?
How Somatic Practices Rewrite Old Programming
This is what somatic practices offer: not something mystical or impossible, but a pathway to rewrite the old programming through embodied experience. When you feel your body’s wisdom in your tissues, when you sense the subtle shifts that guide you toward what nourishes—that lived experience becomes stronger than decades of cultural conditioning.
Just like that ball of chi in my nineteen-year-old hands, your sensing capacity is already there. Waiting for you to feel small and unworthy, but show up anyway. Waiting for you to slow down enough, quiet the noise enough, get curious enough to feel it.
Your body hasn’t forgotten how to sense. And those feelings that drove you to search? They might just be the gift that leads you home to yourself.
Key Takeaways: Awakening Your Body’s Intelligence
Your capacity to sense subtle information hasn’t diminished with age—it’s been buried under stress and conditioning
We’re all born with natural perceptual gifts that chronic stress and cultural conditioning teach us to ignore
Habitual tension patterns literally block the pathways through which subtle information flows
Somatic practices help access sensing abilities that are already present but dormant
Embodied experiences can override decades of mental conditioning about what’s possible
Feelings of unworthiness or disconnection may actually be driving you toward greater body awareness
Midlife offers a powerful opportunity to reclaim your innate sensing abilities
Your body remembers how to perceive wisdom—it just needs the right conditions to emerge
Ready to Rediscover What Your Body Knows?
Your body hasn’t forgotten how to sense. And those feelings that drove you to search? They might just be the gift that leads you home to yourself.
If you’re ready to quiet the noise and reconnect with the subtle body wisdom that’s been waiting for your attention, join us in the Embodied Well Membership. Through gentle somatic movement and body awareness practices, you’ll rediscover sensing abilities you never knew you’d lost.
Join the Embodied Well Membership and start trusting what your body has always known.
